It's been almost a year since I last blogged. I wanted to write in a journal tonight, but I couldn't find one that wasn't filled with random teaching things. So until I can find a nice journal, I decided I'd write here. It's taken a complete life-changing event to make me blog. Yes, I've gotten a new job since I last wrote. Yes, I've had 2 nieces born since my last entry. Neither of these bring me here tonight. If you are reading this, you likely know that my amazing father passed away 2 weeks ago (15 days, to be exact). To say that we were shocked is an understatement. No, he wasn't the epitome of health, but he was Rocky. He was as his name implies - a rock. He was the glue, the cornerstone, the father to which all others should be compared. These 15 days have been hell - pure and utter hell. Every day I wonder how I will live in this world without him. How can I possibly exist when he doesn't anymore? I then realize that I'm not the first nor the only person to lose a father. My own siblings are experiencing this same pain, this same void. My sweet step-mom has lost her best friend and spouse. How do any of us just go on living? Yet we do, and others before us have. In these past few weeks I have realized just how many other people have gone through this same experience. It's clear that I took my relationship with my dad for granted. I could call him when I wanted, see him when I was in town, send him notes in the mail. I could do all of these things that I'll never do again.
Driving home from the movies this afternoon, I felt the need to call someone. Who would be easy to talk to? Who wouldn't require a detailed update from me? With whom could I have a nice conversation? Dad, of course. He is the exact person I would've called. In 2 weeks I haven't brought myself to take him out of my phone, and it was all I could do to not just dial the number. His voice was never on his voicemail for me to simply call and listen to, but the familiarity of calling him would've been comfort enough. I didn't call, and suddenly I didn't feel like talking to anyone.
On Friday, I heard a song that I have loved for a couple of months. It was sad when I first heard it, but in the past two weeks it has taken on a new meaning. It's "Over You" by Miranda Lambert, and the phrase that runs through my head constantly says:
"You went away.
How dare you?
I miss you.
They say I'll be ok,
But I'm not going to
Ever get over you."
Two parts of that resonate the most with me: How dare you and They say I'll be okay, but I'm not going to... I can't understand why my dad was ripped from my life. It simply does.not.make.sense. I'm sure I'm not meant to understand. This whole experience has not made me lose my religion, but I am angry. I have 2 Psychology degrees; I can figure it out. I know there are stages of grief, and that they are less stage-like and more cyclical. For years I've known that I'm a snob about what people say in times of loss. "God needed an angel." "Everything happens for a reason." "It'll be ok." "You can't see it now, but you'll understand some day." These things make me completely crazy. This does not mean that I know what is the right thing to say. I have no idea - none at all. I can tell you this, Justin Warren seems to have it down pat. He doesn't say anything. I cry every day. Every single day. He hugs me and listens to me cry and scream and question, and he simply stays quiet. It is exactly what I have needed.
Today my Papa (dad's father) called me. I cannot recall him ever calling me before. Before Dad passed away, I called him once a week. I try now to call him every 3 days, and I just talked to him yesterday. Today, he called me on his own accord. He said that he hadn't had a visitor today, and he just wanted someone to talk to. Today I was reminded that I'm not the only one who lost someone. My grandfather has buried two sons and a wife. I am not the only one grieving.
Starting soon I would like to start writing down the memories that I have of my father. I have to record them now because I'm hypersensitive to the thought of them. I can draw up hundreds of them right now. I fear that even one year down the road I'll forget. All I have right now are memories. I don't have a future with my dad. I don't have weekends or birthdays or Father's Days to look forward to. I have these tiny moments to look back on and hold forever. They must be recorded because I have to tell Harper how wonderful her Papa was. She has to know that he loved her from the very second he found out about her. That he went into David's in Granbury for the sole purpose of buying her the very first pair of pink cowboy boots she ever owned. That he begged to take her on the mule when she was less than a month old. I have to remember him for the times that my sweet nieces and nephew can't. I have take 29 years of memories and remember them as hard as I can. Rocky Rhoades was one of the most amazing men I've ever known, and I was damn lucky to spend 29 years with him. I will spend the next 50+ talking about him to everyone I meet. He was not a perfect man, but he was the father that God gave me, and there has never been a day in my life where I wondered if he loved me. I love you, Dad. I will always miss you.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Monday, July 11, 2011
The Boys of Summer
It seems it has been 7 months since my last blog entry. In fact, not too long ago, I deleted this blog. I wasn't keeping up with it, figured there wasn't much reading going on, and I didn't really have anything to say. When we were in Peru, I opened it back up to post pictures, but could never make it work with my iPad. Then I thought, "Why not keep it open? I can write about something, right?"
So here I am attempting it again, with no big news, no breaking story, no witty tidbit. Just me, sitting down to "write" about my summer. In case you haven't noticed (not sure if I've pointed it out), but the titles of my blog entries are always song titles (stole that from Gray's), and today's is no different. The title has little significance except that it's summer time, and that is my all time favorite song about summer. It's probably one of my all time favorite songs.
If you are reading this, you were most likely able to keep up with our trip to Peru earlier in the summer. We went for 2 weeks - one a mission week, one a vacation week. The mission week was amazing. We did great work, great work was done in our hearts, and we met some wonderful people. Those memories are ones that I will treasure always. And if I should forget (excuse my use of and at the beginning of the sentence!), Justin took 800 pictures so I can remember every single moment. The vacation week was less vacation and more rustic living. Ask Justin about it - he paints a far rosier picture than I can. I'm not going to elaborate more because I'm not in the "I can laugh about it" phase yet. Ha.
In other summer happenings, my brother and his wife will be welcoming their new addition, Caroline Elizabeth, at the end of the month. Well, it'll really be in a few days. Can't wait to meet this little girl! She'll be joined by her cousin, Kristy and Brad's baby, in October, Harper Frances (named BEFORE the Beckams crashed Kristy's world, FYI). Lots of additions to our family this year, and we will be the favorite aunt and uncle in no time. As we surely already are to our other nieces and nephews!
I know that before I know it, the end of summer will be approaching. I'd love to say that I'll have a new job as a school counselor next year, but that just doesn't seem to be happening. I'm in constant prayer that something will come my way because I desperately need a change. Perhaps the answer is that I need a change in attitude. I know that my degree will be put to use some day, but I truly hoped for some day to be now. I will be changing to 3rd grade next year, and honestly, that was always my dream year. I had the MOST amazing third grade teacher - Mrs. Crabb. She inspired me to become a teacher, and I hope that if this is where I'll be, that I can be even half of the teacher she was. Things will be different, for sure. Luckily, I would no longer be teaching all subjects, just the ELA/Social Studies block. It means more kids, but it also means a wonderful team leader who is one of the greatest friends I've ever had, a teammate (hooray!), and a group of kids that I already love because I got to do guidance lessons with them when they were in 1st grade. Well, hopefully they'll still be good :)
So there are lots of changes on the horizon. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude. Glad I have supportive friends and family at this point in my life. So in case I don't blog again until Christmas (hahaha), I hope the rest of this summer is restful (it is my first summer off in my whole 5 years of teaching!) and that I can borrow Justin's rose-colored glasses.
So here I am attempting it again, with no big news, no breaking story, no witty tidbit. Just me, sitting down to "write" about my summer. In case you haven't noticed (not sure if I've pointed it out), but the titles of my blog entries are always song titles (stole that from Gray's), and today's is no different. The title has little significance except that it's summer time, and that is my all time favorite song about summer. It's probably one of my all time favorite songs.
If you are reading this, you were most likely able to keep up with our trip to Peru earlier in the summer. We went for 2 weeks - one a mission week, one a vacation week. The mission week was amazing. We did great work, great work was done in our hearts, and we met some wonderful people. Those memories are ones that I will treasure always. And if I should forget (excuse my use of and at the beginning of the sentence!), Justin took 800 pictures so I can remember every single moment. The vacation week was less vacation and more rustic living. Ask Justin about it - he paints a far rosier picture than I can. I'm not going to elaborate more because I'm not in the "I can laugh about it" phase yet. Ha.
In other summer happenings, my brother and his wife will be welcoming their new addition, Caroline Elizabeth, at the end of the month. Well, it'll really be in a few days. Can't wait to meet this little girl! She'll be joined by her cousin, Kristy and Brad's baby, in October, Harper Frances (named BEFORE the Beckams crashed Kristy's world, FYI). Lots of additions to our family this year, and we will be the favorite aunt and uncle in no time. As we surely already are to our other nieces and nephews!
I know that before I know it, the end of summer will be approaching. I'd love to say that I'll have a new job as a school counselor next year, but that just doesn't seem to be happening. I'm in constant prayer that something will come my way because I desperately need a change. Perhaps the answer is that I need a change in attitude. I know that my degree will be put to use some day, but I truly hoped for some day to be now. I will be changing to 3rd grade next year, and honestly, that was always my dream year. I had the MOST amazing third grade teacher - Mrs. Crabb. She inspired me to become a teacher, and I hope that if this is where I'll be, that I can be even half of the teacher she was. Things will be different, for sure. Luckily, I would no longer be teaching all subjects, just the ELA/Social Studies block. It means more kids, but it also means a wonderful team leader who is one of the greatest friends I've ever had, a teammate (hooray!), and a group of kids that I already love because I got to do guidance lessons with them when they were in 1st grade. Well, hopefully they'll still be good :)
So there are lots of changes on the horizon. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude. Glad I have supportive friends and family at this point in my life. So in case I don't blog again until Christmas (hahaha), I hope the rest of this summer is restful (it is my first summer off in my whole 5 years of teaching!) and that I can borrow Justin's rose-colored glasses.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
If We Make It Through December
The song "If We Make It Through December" has come to be one of my favorite holiday songs. If you've never heard it, Holly Cole does a great rendition of a Merle Haggard original. Justin and I found this little gem on a Christmas CD from Brookstone before we were married. Over the years, it has come to mean a lot to me.
The first year that we were married, I played this song constantly. We were married on December 2, 2005 (a dear friend's birthday!). When we were first married, we still lived in College Station, and immediately after Christmas, Justin began traveling too frequently with work. It was a hard time in our lives, so I kept saying that if we made it through December (which stretched into February), then "everything will be alright, I know." We made it through that December, and our new marriage was stronger because of it. Some of you know that the first 8 weeks we were married, Justin was gone for 6 of them. It was stressful, but I have never felt more joy in my heart than the moment he stepped off of the plane on the long trip back from Turkey. It was on that trip that his company went completely under, and we made the decision to look outside of College Station for work. I know that it was small beans compared to what most couples go through, but I look at it as such a growing time. I remember crying so obnoxiously when he called me to tell me that he wasn't coming home just two days before his original planned arrival. I thought the world would stop spinning (now, I'd think of it as more veg-out time for me!). It didn't, and his arrival 1-2 weeks later was even better.
So this week, we've been married 5 years. We made it through 5 Decembers, and here we are in our 6th. Christmas has the potential to be a nightmare for us with all of the traveling and splitting time between my 2 families and his 1; however, despite it all, it's our favorite time of year. This year, an added dimension - graduation the weekend before Christmas. Starting well before December, we start making plans for seeing the family. We talk about what we'll do together, we plan out every meal, and we discuss the traditions we love the most. Mine: Chesley ringing jingle bells on Christmas morning (despite us all being in our late 20's-late 30's) while he and Mom blare The Oakridge Boys' Christmas album (per our request and an upgrade from the old record), Christmas Eve with Dad's side of the family and catching up with everyone over turkey and some of the loudest laughter you'll ever hear, and going and finding the perfect Christmas tree, decorating it and the house while we watch Elf, and playing Christmas music when it's over.
Yes, it's hard to keep our minds on the fact that Santa is not the reason for the season and neither are the presents, but for me it's not about either. It's about making the 5-hour trek up to Granbury, and then over to Palestine. It's about seeing our family, and how big our nieces, nephews, and cousins' babies have gotten. It's about seeing what shenanigans Chesley will be up to this year. It's about walking through Dad's house and immediately feeling like I'm in a winter wonderland. It's about knowing that "Jesus was born today, born in a manger", and because of it, I can make it through December.
The first year that we were married, I played this song constantly. We were married on December 2, 2005 (a dear friend's birthday!). When we were first married, we still lived in College Station, and immediately after Christmas, Justin began traveling too frequently with work. It was a hard time in our lives, so I kept saying that if we made it through December (which stretched into February), then "everything will be alright, I know." We made it through that December, and our new marriage was stronger because of it. Some of you know that the first 8 weeks we were married, Justin was gone for 6 of them. It was stressful, but I have never felt more joy in my heart than the moment he stepped off of the plane on the long trip back from Turkey. It was on that trip that his company went completely under, and we made the decision to look outside of College Station for work. I know that it was small beans compared to what most couples go through, but I look at it as such a growing time. I remember crying so obnoxiously when he called me to tell me that he wasn't coming home just two days before his original planned arrival. I thought the world would stop spinning (now, I'd think of it as more veg-out time for me!). It didn't, and his arrival 1-2 weeks later was even better.
So this week, we've been married 5 years. We made it through 5 Decembers, and here we are in our 6th. Christmas has the potential to be a nightmare for us with all of the traveling and splitting time between my 2 families and his 1; however, despite it all, it's our favorite time of year. This year, an added dimension - graduation the weekend before Christmas. Starting well before December, we start making plans for seeing the family. We talk about what we'll do together, we plan out every meal, and we discuss the traditions we love the most. Mine: Chesley ringing jingle bells on Christmas morning (despite us all being in our late 20's-late 30's) while he and Mom blare The Oakridge Boys' Christmas album (per our request and an upgrade from the old record), Christmas Eve with Dad's side of the family and catching up with everyone over turkey and some of the loudest laughter you'll ever hear, and going and finding the perfect Christmas tree, decorating it and the house while we watch Elf, and playing Christmas music when it's over.
Yes, it's hard to keep our minds on the fact that Santa is not the reason for the season and neither are the presents, but for me it's not about either. It's about making the 5-hour trek up to Granbury, and then over to Palestine. It's about seeing our family, and how big our nieces, nephews, and cousins' babies have gotten. It's about seeing what shenanigans Chesley will be up to this year. It's about walking through Dad's house and immediately feeling like I'm in a winter wonderland. It's about knowing that "Jesus was born today, born in a manger", and because of it, I can make it through December.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Heart Like Mine
This weekend marked opening weekend of deer season. To Justin, this weekend is like Christmas. Every weekend leads up to it, and I joke that if I died on opening weekend, Justin wouldn't come to my funeral. For me, it marks the beginning of a season of weekends without Justin. I'm past the "Woe is me whose husband is gone all the time" phase of this, and I'm in the "I don't have to cook or see to someone else for a whole weekend!!" phase. I usually don't go with him to Palestine during this weekend, but this year I did. I was glad to get some time away, and I no longer have Saturday classes so it was the perfect opportunity to get out of town. As unsuccessful as the weekend was (for its intended purpose), it was relaxing. On the way home, Justin got tired and asked me to drive. If you know me well enough, you'll know this was close to a nightmare for me. Justin and I have a sort of Driving Miss Daisy relationship. He drives us everywhere. I'm convinced it's because my driving stresses him out, but it would be nice to think it's because he knows I hate to drive.
Anyways, I pulled over in Hempstead to get gas, and I was so frustrated. We were 30 minutes from home, and I wanted to be able to make it just a little bit longer without stopping. I needed to be home looking at lesson plans or studying. I wanted to be putting up Halloween decorations (it was already October 3rd! I was falling behind!). I was slightly tired myself, and I wanted to be out of the cramped and packed-to-the-brim truck. I needed, I wanted, I was. Then, a girl came skipping out of the gas station with a ring pop like it was the greatest day of her life. I immediately got out of the truck, went inside and bought two bottled rootbeers and a package of Fun Dip. Right then Justin and I decided to make it a Fun Dip party in the truck. We talked about our favorite gas station candy, and that led to talking about road trips and memories that we'd never talked about before. I remembered being so excited when my dad would let us get candy from the gas station on the long drive to meet my mom at the "prisoner exchange". Would it be Big League Chew? Or Twix? Or candy cigarettes (what a horrible marketing ploy for kids!)? My whole happiness hinged on the possibility that we might be able to get 75 cent candy.
I never took the time before Sunday to appreciate that at the age of 27, you don't have to cross your fingers and beg your parents for that gas station candy. You can walk into the gas station and pick out any candy you want. You can have the Twix, the Big League Chew, AND the Fun Dip, and the only person that is there to stop you is you. So, I'm hoping I can take some time to appreciate the candy that I can buy for myself. Because that happiness hinges on no one else.
Anyways, I pulled over in Hempstead to get gas, and I was so frustrated. We were 30 minutes from home, and I wanted to be able to make it just a little bit longer without stopping. I needed to be home looking at lesson plans or studying. I wanted to be putting up Halloween decorations (it was already October 3rd! I was falling behind!). I was slightly tired myself, and I wanted to be out of the cramped and packed-to-the-brim truck. I needed, I wanted, I was. Then, a girl came skipping out of the gas station with a ring pop like it was the greatest day of her life. I immediately got out of the truck, went inside and bought two bottled rootbeers and a package of Fun Dip. Right then Justin and I decided to make it a Fun Dip party in the truck. We talked about our favorite gas station candy, and that led to talking about road trips and memories that we'd never talked about before. I remembered being so excited when my dad would let us get candy from the gas station on the long drive to meet my mom at the "prisoner exchange". Would it be Big League Chew? Or Twix? Or candy cigarettes (what a horrible marketing ploy for kids!)? My whole happiness hinged on the possibility that we might be able to get 75 cent candy.
I never took the time before Sunday to appreciate that at the age of 27, you don't have to cross your fingers and beg your parents for that gas station candy. You can walk into the gas station and pick out any candy you want. You can have the Twix, the Big League Chew, AND the Fun Dip, and the only person that is there to stop you is you. So, I'm hoping I can take some time to appreciate the candy that I can buy for myself. Because that happiness hinges on no one else.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Breakable
Today I had a God moment. This is really a big deal for me. Whether it be that I "don't have them" or that I don't notice them, when they slap me across the face, I take notice. Today, I could do nothing except take notice. I was really struggling today because I had a moment of vulnerability in front of a group of people where I expressed my doubts. Essentially I pointed out that I worry that this goal that I am pressing on toward (finishing school) might not be worth it in the end. And what if it's not? It is okay with me to have these doubts. I don't need to be fixed or adviced (yes, I know that's not a word, but it really is a feeling). I want to simmer with my doubt and be okay and perhaps better because of it. Well, in typical human fashion, once I expressed these concerns, several people responded with things such as "You just can't see it now, but it'll be worth it in the end." There is little that will shut me up on command, but bad responses or advice will do it every time. Here's the thing, I just have to remember that not everyone has taken 100 something hours of counseling classes. I know that most people want to reassure - it's human nature. The thing is, not everyone wants to be reassured. Many people just want to be heard and validated. This is not to say that I know the right thing to say every time. Quite the opposite. However, I know that sometimes the words, "That sucks" or "You must've felt so alone" are the Neosporins to a bleeding heart.
So my moment came after I had a processing session with two of my girlfriends who truly understand how poorly people can respond. Both of them did a wonderful job of letting me vent. Then tonight I was reading a book, Faith and Doubt, that one of them let me borrow. Now, I usually read my Real Simple magazine while I blow dry my hair, but tonight I picked this book up. About two pages in, I read the lines that came out of the book and slapped me across the face - "When people of faith are not willing to sit quietly sometimes and let doubt make its case, bad things can happen. Sometimes people of faith can be glib. Sometimes they respond with bad answers." I have spent the past few months simmering with my doubt, and it's sort of an accessory to my outfit. I've learned to be okay with it, because in my mind, my doubt is mine. I grew up in a Christian home with my mother's faith (which there is nothing wrong with), but for once, I feel like this doubt belongs to me. It's one of the first signs that I am making this religious experience my own. I'm challenging the old way and questioning things. It's not a bad thing, and I'm not apologizing for it. I will not be told that it's something that I'll grow out of or something that will be better once I get to the other side. Because if I have no doubts whatsoever, then I feel like I'm not wanting for something better. I'm not wanting for something that I can call mine. This doubt, and this faith, and this experience is mine, and I am going to wear it in style.
So my moment came after I had a processing session with two of my girlfriends who truly understand how poorly people can respond. Both of them did a wonderful job of letting me vent. Then tonight I was reading a book, Faith and Doubt, that one of them let me borrow. Now, I usually read my Real Simple magazine while I blow dry my hair, but tonight I picked this book up. About two pages in, I read the lines that came out of the book and slapped me across the face - "When people of faith are not willing to sit quietly sometimes and let doubt make its case, bad things can happen. Sometimes people of faith can be glib. Sometimes they respond with bad answers." I have spent the past few months simmering with my doubt, and it's sort of an accessory to my outfit. I've learned to be okay with it, because in my mind, my doubt is mine. I grew up in a Christian home with my mother's faith (which there is nothing wrong with), but for once, I feel like this doubt belongs to me. It's one of the first signs that I am making this religious experience my own. I'm challenging the old way and questioning things. It's not a bad thing, and I'm not apologizing for it. I will not be told that it's something that I'll grow out of or something that will be better once I get to the other side. Because if I have no doubts whatsoever, then I feel like I'm not wanting for something better. I'm not wanting for something that I can call mine. This doubt, and this faith, and this experience is mine, and I am going to wear it in style.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Everything That Glitters
So I might be 11 days late to get this ball rolling, but it's time for the start of a new year (a new decade, even!!). It's traditionally a time to look back on the year and reflect and decide how we can do bigger and better in the next year. Instead of looking forward, over the past few weeks, I've found myself looking back a lot, you know hindsight's 20-20 and all that. I like to look at how my life would be different or if it would be at all.
Some things I've looked back on recently: 2009 not only marked the end of a decade, but it marked 10 years since my Granny died. The year culminated with my 90-year old grandfather moving into assisted living and out of the house that he and my Granny shared. I wasn't there when the rest of the family cleaned out the house, so once I was there at a house full of stuff and the next time it was totally deserted. As Justin and I stood there in the house, my emotions were at a peak. Tears were pouring down my face, and I looked around and could see my Granny and Papa sitting in their chairs while Granny told Whitney and I where to put the Christmas decorations on the tree. I have so many regrets from that day. It was the last day I saw my Granny alive. She was fine - a little tired - but surrounded by the love of her family as we'd just celebrated Thanksgiving. I wish I would've stayed longer, I wish I wasn't in such a rush to get back to Granbury, and most of all, more than anything, I wish I knew if I told her that I loved her before I left. It's been 10 years, and I've wondered that more times than I could ever count. Thank God my relationship with my Papa has grown so much over the years, and I never get off the phone or leave him without telling him that I love him. I will not spend 10 years wondering when I have the chance to make it right the first time.
More things I've learned from 2009:
* There are times when my life resembles a gag reel from a movie, and there are times when it resembles a war scene from a movie.
* Taylor Swift sure figured out a lot from being 15 once (sorry Kristy - and I feel like I'm constantly apologizing to you for my musical tastes!); in your life you truly will do greater things than dating the boy on the football team.
* Sometimes you just have to tell someone that you've had a good day. Even if it's a top slice of bread on the crap sandwich kind of day.
* The grass is NOT always greener on either side. Some days it's dead and yellow on one side and up in flames on the other.
* There is a furry little creature named after my husband's favorite beer who owns a big corner of my heart. I love that dog more than I love a lot of humans.
* Spanish Club on Friday nights can make you forget about that crap sandwich while making you cry from laughing so hard.
* A glass of wine by the fire can cure a lot of life's problems. A loud game of Bananagrams or Taboo will cure the rest.
So I do have a lot of things to look forward to in 2010, and there are a lot of things I want to change. Big major thing this year: GRADUATION!!! The other stuff: another day, another dollar. Maybe next time. Hoping that you are continually blessed in this new decade.
Some things I've looked back on recently: 2009 not only marked the end of a decade, but it marked 10 years since my Granny died. The year culminated with my 90-year old grandfather moving into assisted living and out of the house that he and my Granny shared. I wasn't there when the rest of the family cleaned out the house, so once I was there at a house full of stuff and the next time it was totally deserted. As Justin and I stood there in the house, my emotions were at a peak. Tears were pouring down my face, and I looked around and could see my Granny and Papa sitting in their chairs while Granny told Whitney and I where to put the Christmas decorations on the tree. I have so many regrets from that day. It was the last day I saw my Granny alive. She was fine - a little tired - but surrounded by the love of her family as we'd just celebrated Thanksgiving. I wish I would've stayed longer, I wish I wasn't in such a rush to get back to Granbury, and most of all, more than anything, I wish I knew if I told her that I loved her before I left. It's been 10 years, and I've wondered that more times than I could ever count. Thank God my relationship with my Papa has grown so much over the years, and I never get off the phone or leave him without telling him that I love him. I will not spend 10 years wondering when I have the chance to make it right the first time.
More things I've learned from 2009:
* There are times when my life resembles a gag reel from a movie, and there are times when it resembles a war scene from a movie.
* Taylor Swift sure figured out a lot from being 15 once (sorry Kristy - and I feel like I'm constantly apologizing to you for my musical tastes!); in your life you truly will do greater things than dating the boy on the football team.
* Sometimes you just have to tell someone that you've had a good day. Even if it's a top slice of bread on the crap sandwich kind of day.
* The grass is NOT always greener on either side. Some days it's dead and yellow on one side and up in flames on the other.
* There is a furry little creature named after my husband's favorite beer who owns a big corner of my heart. I love that dog more than I love a lot of humans.
* Spanish Club on Friday nights can make you forget about that crap sandwich while making you cry from laughing so hard.
* A glass of wine by the fire can cure a lot of life's problems. A loud game of Bananagrams or Taboo will cure the rest.
So I do have a lot of things to look forward to in 2010, and there are a lot of things I want to change. Big major thing this year: GRADUATION!!! The other stuff: another day, another dollar. Maybe next time. Hoping that you are continually blessed in this new decade.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Baby, It's Cold Outside
First of all, I must take a minute to apologize to my sister. If you are reading this, then I am sorry for the Christmas music. I know you hate it, but you know I love it :)
It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. I'm sitting here with the tree all lit up, Christmas decorations up, lights on the house, and wishing the fire in the fireplace was lit. That's ok, it's almost bed time anyway. With the exception of one gift, I finished the shopping today. Yea! I shopped all morning while Justin put lights in the hedges out front, then I spent an hour wrapping all of my purchases. We ate lunch, and I sat down to relax for a minute. Suddenly I had a thought. We "adopted" 2 kids through our church to buy them Christmas presents. I thought the presents were due tomorrow at church, but I wanted to check, just in case. Sure enough, there on the paper it said, "Drop off by Saturday, December 5th at 4:00 pm". Um, it was 2:50, and I hadn't bought the gifts for the kids yet. Ok, no need to panic. "Justin, we need to go NOW to buy these gifts." Of course, he was in the middle of gluing down the thresholds between our living room and kitchen. So he finished and we rushed to Wal-Mart to shop. He had the older boy (got to pick out a bike!!) and I had the baby boy. Of course, Wal-Mart is a madhouse...of course it is!! We rushed as much as we could, then made it to Katy Christian Ministries at 3:58 (Justin was riding the bike into the store). After we barely got our gifts in, the ladies that were volunteering asked us if we wanted to see all the donations. It was amazing. A room the size of a small store was packed to the brim with bikes, toys, clothes, and so many other gifts. It really made me glad that we had decided to forgo gifts to each other and do this instead. It wasn't just us, though. It was so incredible to see that so many families, so many people had come together during these hard financial times to give to someone else. In a time where so many people are looking out for number one, this really put the spirit of Christmas back in perspective. In fact, Justin said we could adopt 4 next year. Hopefully we'll get to it before the day they are due. Oops.
By the way, we really enjoyed our trip to Vegas. We had a great time with Amy and Danny, and it was a great first visit for the Warrens. If you ever get a chance to see Cirque du Soleil's Ka, you should. It was amazing. It was much different from the other Cirque's, but it was great. Of course, we had to return to the real world, but this week ended with about 3 inches of snow yesterday. Some of our students had never seen snow before, so it was so exciting to see their reactions. They were laughing, screaming, and a few said, "This has been the best day of my life!" It was my reminder to stop complaining about not getting let out of school and just enjoy those first moments with the kids who wouldn't have been anywhere else.
I hope that everyone has a wonderful Christmas and that it is filled with laughter, love, time with family and friends, and full of the same joy as those students enjoying such a rare event in Texas.
It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. I'm sitting here with the tree all lit up, Christmas decorations up, lights on the house, and wishing the fire in the fireplace was lit. That's ok, it's almost bed time anyway. With the exception of one gift, I finished the shopping today. Yea! I shopped all morning while Justin put lights in the hedges out front, then I spent an hour wrapping all of my purchases. We ate lunch, and I sat down to relax for a minute. Suddenly I had a thought. We "adopted" 2 kids through our church to buy them Christmas presents. I thought the presents were due tomorrow at church, but I wanted to check, just in case. Sure enough, there on the paper it said, "Drop off by Saturday, December 5th at 4:00 pm". Um, it was 2:50, and I hadn't bought the gifts for the kids yet. Ok, no need to panic. "Justin, we need to go NOW to buy these gifts." Of course, he was in the middle of gluing down the thresholds between our living room and kitchen. So he finished and we rushed to Wal-Mart to shop. He had the older boy (got to pick out a bike!!) and I had the baby boy. Of course, Wal-Mart is a madhouse...of course it is!! We rushed as much as we could, then made it to Katy Christian Ministries at 3:58 (Justin was riding the bike into the store). After we barely got our gifts in, the ladies that were volunteering asked us if we wanted to see all the donations. It was amazing. A room the size of a small store was packed to the brim with bikes, toys, clothes, and so many other gifts. It really made me glad that we had decided to forgo gifts to each other and do this instead. It wasn't just us, though. It was so incredible to see that so many families, so many people had come together during these hard financial times to give to someone else. In a time where so many people are looking out for number one, this really put the spirit of Christmas back in perspective. In fact, Justin said we could adopt 4 next year. Hopefully we'll get to it before the day they are due. Oops.
By the way, we really enjoyed our trip to Vegas. We had a great time with Amy and Danny, and it was a great first visit for the Warrens. If you ever get a chance to see Cirque du Soleil's Ka, you should. It was amazing. It was much different from the other Cirque's, but it was great. Of course, we had to return to the real world, but this week ended with about 3 inches of snow yesterday. Some of our students had never seen snow before, so it was so exciting to see their reactions. They were laughing, screaming, and a few said, "This has been the best day of my life!" It was my reminder to stop complaining about not getting let out of school and just enjoy those first moments with the kids who wouldn't have been anywhere else.
I hope that everyone has a wonderful Christmas and that it is filled with laughter, love, time with family and friends, and full of the same joy as those students enjoying such a rare event in Texas.
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